at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize