Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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