I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
