i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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