"it" just moved
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
