I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
