I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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