I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Randomize