just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
