Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
