Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
