come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
