I'm really into asian looking animals
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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