Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
