OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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