We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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