Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize