WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
