Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
