R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
