i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
whose parrot is this?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
