if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
