Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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