I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize