Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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