He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
