margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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