I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
