You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
