I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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