I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
