its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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