I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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