I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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