My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Randomize
