some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
