We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
In America we eat man semen.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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