4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
