see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
