I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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