we're blogging at a bar
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will be naked everywhere
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
