Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
