I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Randomize
