Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
