I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
