I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
