theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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