I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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