The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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