At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
