id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
