So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
