If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize