just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize