We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
