You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
