you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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