I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
