i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
