Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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