i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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