no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
