So drunk its hurt
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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