Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
