i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize