is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
