fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
