im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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