I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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