That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
