Come see our sink grown plant.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
