I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize